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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366230">What More Do You Want From Me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterroadtripper/pseuds/masterroadtripper'>masterroadtripper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Get Up, Try Again [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>I Can I Will I Did (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bullying, Depression, Foster Care, Foster Family, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:47:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterroadtripper/pseuds/masterroadtripper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Foster kid Ben has given up hope at finding the "forever family" DCFS always talks about.  He's excepted the fact that he's not meant to ever have that and, in two years, at 18, he'll age out without a family.  When he is placed with Maria, he realizes that maybe not everyone on this planet has or will give up on him.  </p><p>Based on the 2018 movie, I Can I Will I Did, taking place a year and a half before the canon time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben &amp; Maria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Get Up, Try Again [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What More Do You Want From Me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This is our train,” Mr. Brian said as the train approached their platform. Ben didn’t look up but he could hear the clacking of the train approaching followed by the push of air that accompanied its arrival.</p><p>“C’mon Ben,” Mr. Brian said again over the squealing of the train coming to a full stop, “we gotta get you to your new home before night falls, okay?”</p><p>Once again, Ben elected to say nothing, staring down at his battered shoes and garbage bag sitting at his feet. He didn’t want to get on the train, he didn’t want to go to a new group home. No one wanted him. The kid that said nothing.</p><p>The doctors said selective mutism, but Ben doubted it. He’d just realized that he was better off to say nothing than to open his mouth and get scolding for his opinion. He could talk. He knew he could. He just decided that he no longer had anything that was worth to be said out loud.</p><p>“Where are we going to sit, huh?” Mr. Brian asked and Ben saw right through his tactic. Bait Ben with an open-ended question. Force him to have to verbally reply. Yes or no questions didn’t force him to speak.  </p><p>Ben rolled his eyes.  He was sixteen and yet Mr. Brian insisted on treating him like the toddler he was when they'd first met.  But Ben was prepared. He was very prepared and just shrugged. Shrugging was his new best friend. It expressed nothing. No good emotions, no bad emotions. Just nothing. It was effective. It worked.</p><p>“Well, I’m not going to sit until you tell me where to,” Mr. Brian said once again, sounding like a teacher from school. Thankfully that wasn’t happening at the moment. It was summer holidays. A time to have fun with friends, go on vacations or get kicked out of your last foster home. Ben didn’t get a choice in the matter, but the last option didn’t sound all that bad at the moment. He’d gotten kicked out of one home today, what would one more be at this point? Heck, he could try and get kicked out of two today. Break his own record. There was something appealing about that.</p><p>Ben shrugged again. He didn’t care if Mr. Brian didn’t sit. That was his own choice. Besides, Ben hated sitting on the train. He’d much rather stand by the window section and look out over the city from his moving platform. And the chairs were dirty.</p><p>Mr. Brian audibly sighed and took a seat closest to the section Ben had chosen to stand in, putting his bag on the chair beside him. The bag contained Ben’s file, no doubt. Just another hefty stack of paper to hand off to the next foster family only to be collected again once they realized that Ben was too broken to be fixed.</p><p>That he was combatant and only spoke if it was to yell at them. He was good at slamming doors, breaking things and blowing up at the drop of a hat. He was good at running away, and he was good at hiding. It wasn’t that he liked losing his cool. “Hulking Out,” as Mr. Brian had begun to refer to it as. But sometimes, it felt like he had no choice. That the pot was boiling and you had to take it off the stove before it boiled over. Turning down the temperature on the stove no longer helped. And, well, if you prevented the pot from being taken off the stove, you ended up with a boiling mess all over the place.</p><p>Turns out people don’t like it when you run away on them. But they like it even less when you throw a stack of plates at the wall. Ben learned that this morning.</p><p>“This is our stop Ben,” Mr. Brian said, standing from his seat and making his way to the door. He checked behind him, over his shoulder, as if to ensure that Ben wasn’t going to stay on the train and ride it all the way to Harlem. He didn’t trust Ben to follow him anymore. Ben didn’t trust himself to follow, but he did it because the sun was setting and he really didn’t want to be left behind on the train.</p>
<hr/><p>Mr. Brian reached out and rang the doorbell to apartment 137 before taking one step back to wait. From behind the wooden door, Ben could hear a crashing noise followed by a woman’s voice shouting, “Lily, can you please get the door?”</p><p>In a surprisingly short period of time, a girl opened the door. She was shorter and considerably younger than Ben - which wasn't a difficult task nowadays - and was wearing pyjamas already. Her hair was dark brown and pulled back into a braid at the back of her head.  They were met with a wide gap-toothed grin and an excited wave as she bounced up and down.</p><p>"Hiya Mr. Brian!" the girl - Lily - shrieked, her bouncing subsiding a little. </p><p>“Hi Lily,” Mr. Brian said, smiling for the first time that day. Or, that day, while Ben had been with him. Just another little confidence booster. Knowing that even his caseworker was fed up with all the shit he pulled. Ben wanted to say he didn’t care. Because really, why should he? But he did. Deep down, it hurt, knowing that the one person in his life who was supposed to be there for him hated him just as much as everyone else.</p><p>“Ms. Maria, Mr. Brian is here,” the girl called back into the apartment over her shoulder.</p><p>“Let them in please,” the woman - probably Maria - called back and the girl took a step backwards, holding the door open.</p><p>“Thank you Lily,” Mr. Brian said, stepping into the apartment, kicking his shoes off at the door. As much as Ben wanted to stay rooted to the spot in the carpeted hallway, stained with years worth of messes, he followed. He was too tired and too hungry to care about making a good or bad first impression.</p><p>“Maria’s in the kitchen,” the girl said before flopping herself down on the couch on the other side of the entryway, right next to an older girl.  She looked almost the same age as Ben, if not a little older.  In pyjamas as well, she didn't look up as they walked through the door and let her blond hair continue to fall in front of her face like a curtain.  Most curiously though was what looked like wild dental appliances in her mouth and around the back of her head.  She looked like she had a transformer in her mouth.  Ben took note of his first observations and filed them away for later. For ammo in an argument. If he needed to.</p><p>Turning around a corner, Mr. Brian seemed to know where he was going and Ben realized that he’d placed kids here - with Maria - before. Likely had placed Lily here. Maybe this was a last-hope placement. Ben had heard of those. A stable household that a caseworker trusted and only placed kids in when they were running out of ideas. It was certainly possible.</p><p>“Oh, Brian, so good to see you again,” the lady - Maria - cooed as she saw Mr. Brian turning the corner, Ben following behind him awkwardly, holding his garbage bag at his side.</p><p>“Yes, you too Maria,” Mr. Brian replied, “thank you for taking Ben here on such short notice. Ben, meet Maria.”</p><p>Ben managed a small smile and a brief nod in her direction.</p><p>“It is very nice to meet you Benjamin, and it is really no problem,” she replied, her accent strong as she continued cleaning something on the counter, “and you’ll excuse the mess, I was just cleaning up from supper. Have you eaten?”</p><p>“I did, but Ben didn’t want anything a couple of hours ago,” Mr. Brian reported and Ben had to stifle a laugh. If Mr. Brian considered an assortment of crap from the vending machine supper, he was crazy. And Ben had declined because he had a particular hate-on for pretzels at the moment.</p><p>“Do you want something to eat Benjamin?” Maria asked, “we had macaroni and cheese for dinner, I can re-heat some for you if you want.”</p><p>He was hungry, sure, but he didn’t need to make anything more difficult than it already was. His former plan on getting kicked out of this home tonight was gone. He could work on a record another time. He just wanted to sleep. So, instead of accepting the offering of food, Ben shook his head no.</p><p>“That's okay,” Maria replied, “That is alright. Why don’t we get you set up for the night then and send Mr. Brian home? How does that sound?”</p><p>Ben shrugged. He didn’t care. No emotion. Why bother anymore anyways? Something would set him off, soon enough and then he’d be back with Mr. Brian, heading to yet another home. It was bound to happen. Why fight it anymore anyway?</p><p>“Well, your bedroom is this way,” Maria said, pointing towards the door directly beside the one that led out into the hallway. He followed, thankful that he would soon be off his feet.</p><p>“Lily and Jessica sleep here,” Maria said, pointing to a different door before adding, “Lily, come meet Ben properly.”</p><p>The girl in question, the young one with more energy than he thought was possible at this time at night, hopped off the couch again and ran towards them, her small feet slapping against the floor.</p><p>“Hiya Ben,” she said, holding out her hand like she was expecting a handshake.</p><p>Ben looked between the hand, Lily's face and the floor, in that order, before deciding he didn’t want to shake Lily's hand and shaking his head “no.”</p><p>The little girl pouted as Maria patted the top of her head and said, "Benjamin here has had a long day Lily.  Why don't you go back to your cartoons, yeah?"</p><p>Ben could hear Mr. Brian huff from behind him but add nothing to the conversation as Maria walked into Ben’s new room. There were sheets on the bed and the mattress was off the floor on what looked like a homemade bunk bed, another suspended in the air directly above the made one.  The second bunk bed was unmade and appeared to be sitting empty and unoccupied.  </p><p>“Right now, you have this space all to yourself,” Maria reported before adding, “there is a towel and a toothbrush in the washroom if you’d like to clean yourself up before you go to bed. Otherwise, I’ll leave you be and I’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay?”</p><p>Ben managed a slight nod “yes,” which seemed to please Maria for the moment and she led Mr. Brian back into the kitchen.  Likely to talk about him.  Definitely to talk about him.  That was Mr. Brian's job, after all.</p><p>As appealing as a shower sounded at the moment, Ben couldn’t find the energy to even turn around. Instead, he fell face-first onto the mattress in front of him and let the exhaustion of the day take over.  He was asleep almost instantly.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1) The movie I Can I Will I Did is super unknown and yet it is incredibly inspirational and moving, hopefully, this gets it even a little bit more publicity than it already has.<br/>a. this is a link to its IMDB page:   https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5186608/<br/>b. this is a link to its trailer on YouTube:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltfjvKqJdT4</p><p>2) There is very little divulged about Ben's past in the movie, so I'm hoping to just flesh it out a little more in this story, exploring from the time he was 16 and started to live with Maria until the time he was 17 (which he was at the start of the movie) and potentially after the timeline from the movie.  </p><p>3) If you (somehow) stumbled across this story and have taken the time to read it, I thank you very much for taking a chance and I hope you are able to get a chance to watch this awesome movie.  It is very much so worth the 1:46:00 minutes of your time.</p><p>4) edit 03/29/20: re-watched the movie and realized that Maria does say when Ben started to live with her, so I edited the timeline to accommodate it a little.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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